Our Love Language

I recently just read the book the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. A read that opened my eyes to my husband, my marriage, and myself.

Let me explain.

There are five love languages,

Acts of service,

Words of affirmation,

Quality time,

Receiving gifts, &

Physical touch.

 

One which is your primary love language. Knowing your love language and your spouse’s can help bring more happiness, gratitude, and love to your marriage. I am not going to give a summary of this book but share what I learned to hopefully inspire you to give this book a try.

My husband, my high school sweetheart, and I will be married for two years come December! I didn’t pick up this book because we are having problems in our marriage but to help us improve our marriage, keep the love alive before it can dwindle down, and to learn something new about each other.

I would try my best to get the house cleaned up when I got off work to have everything in order when my husband came home.  He never seemed to care if the dishes were clean and the laundry was started. But it would mean a great deal to me if he had the dishes done when I came home from work. Our love languages were different.

My love language, I found out by the reading, is acts of service.  A close second for me was quality time.

My husband always gave me words of affirmation. Which is endearing and I love to hear. But after this reading and sharing what I found he now tries to pick up on my specific love language. He will join me when I fold the laundry. Now that it is getting colder he surprised me by bringing home firewood so we can sit and drink hot coco in front of the fire together, some quality time.

My husband’s love language is physical touch.

I think in the past I would try and hit all of them just trying to bring a smile to his face without even knowing what the love languages were. For instance, if I was at the store I would pick up a cute corny card and a favorite treat of his to give him after a long day at work, receiving gifts. I would make sure the house was picked up when he got home, acts of service. Or we would go on walks around the neighborhood and share our thoughts, quality time. Always expressing my love to him.

Looking back now, it makes sense why he thought the cards were cute but didn’t need them to make him happy just like the chores around the house getting done. Now if we are in the kitchen together I will brush against him, comb my fingers through his hair while he’s sitting down, etc. to speak to his love language.

Our love has always been strong, fierce, and compassionate. Mr. Chapman has showed us how to connect on another level. Adding another spark to our love.

Even if you have a great relationship with your spouse or partner I highly recommend this book because it’s another way to reach out to your loved one. If you are having some bumps in your relationship it is a way to rekindle the fire that was once there.

Has anyone else read this book before? Do you know what your love language is or that of your spouse? Share in the comments and let me know if you find your way going to the bookstore now??

 

~Rachael

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