I am a daughter. A sister. A friend. A fur mama. A weightlifter. A Floridian. I have many titles. But one of my favorites has to be a wife.
Marriage is: two people who get to become one, for better or for worse, to push and motivate. To support and catch when they fall. To share this crazy life together. Two separate people who can stand on their own but make a stronger force together. Those are just some of the reasons why I love my relationship. I love having someone to come home to. I love having my best friend around all the time.
With Valentine’s Day approaching I wanted to share some of our tips to making our relationship work and how we show up for one another.
- Know your partner’s love language. You could be doing everything right, cooking your s/o delicious dinners, giving them foot massages at the end of the day, doing the laundry, etc. but their love language is not acts of service but words of affirmation. Although what you are doing is very thoughtful it may not be what they need.
- Know your love language. Know your love language so you can help your partner better understand you and make sure you are feeling loved in the right ways.
- Communication. Communication. Communication. This one is important. If you are mad, express it. If you are happy, tell them. If there is a problem let them know so you both can work together to fix it. Your partner is not a mind reader. Hubs is pretty good about knowing how I am feeling. But he needs me to tell him what I am feeling and why so we can move on. Another problem with lack of communication is you both made plans and didn’t let you partner know, now you have two places to be at once. When all of this could have been avoided with a little communication.
- Always say what you really mean. Assuming or beating around the bush is just going to create more problems. For instance I am not allowed to use the word fine in our relationship, haha. Hubs has learned fine has 101 more meanings than actually being just fine. So I have to use words that actually express what I am feeling.
- Never go to bed angry. You don’t want to end the night on a bad note because odds are you’re going to wake up with the same feelings. Plus, no one is promised tomorrow so go to bed knowing you love one another. I won’t lie we have stayed up until 1-2 in the morning to hold ourselves to this rule; not going to bed until the problem is resolved and we are all lovey-dovey again.
- Trust. If there is no trust then what is your relationship even standing on? How is there a solid foundation to build something more? Trust your s/o and that also means be honest. If you have to lie about it, should you be doing it?
- Have tough skin. This one goes hand in hand with the honesty part. You want your s/o to be honest and that means hearing things you may not want to hear. You have to have tough skin to hear it and fix it. Your partner may see something you are doing that is holding you back, so they are telling you so you can better yourself. They are doing it because they care. You should not have to sugar coat everything in your relationship but instead say exactly how you are feeling.
- Support each other. This goes for their dreams, their hobbies, their goals. Let them know you are the number one person they can go to, you will have their back in their endeavors.
- Don’t keep score. Your relationship is not a competition. Do things beause you want to, not because you have to one up your partner. Also don’t hold things against your s/o saying I did ‘x’ so you have to do ‘y’ for me. You are not on different teams competing, but on the same team working together.
- Keep dating your spouse. Make time for just the two of you. Dress up or stay in. It doesn’t matter but show your s/o you need/want time with just them. Flirt, joke, have fun, and forget your responsibilities for an hour or two.
- Always say I love you. Like I said earlier you are not promised your next breath. Make sure the ones closest to you know you love them. It’s always nice to hear those three little words.